Grey
by KindaWishIWasAnnabeth
Summary: What if Tobias never realized that she was Tris? What if he accidentally killed her? Takes places in the Dauntless control room during the simulation. Its a one-shot.


**A/N - I don't own divergent.**

Tobias POV

I pull the trigger, then watch as Eric falls to the ground, his hand still slightly extended as it falls off my chest. After two years of taking insults from him, of having to obey him, Eric was dead. By my hand. I feel a thrill of triumph, one of my enemies gone. Maybe I should feel more regret, but I don't.

I turn back to the computers, continuing to try to end the simulation. I replay Eric's last words in my head, "give it up, do you actually think you're going to be able to beat us, beat _me?_" and then I ended his life. But it was strange; the words not actually matching up with the shapes his lips were forming. I would think he was saying "_please see me, Tobias," _if I hadn't been able to hear him, and if he had known my name.

I try to get my thoughts to focus back on the simulation. I needed to end it, and soon, Tris was still out there somewhere with a bad shoulder, most likely still in the hands of Jeanine. Maybe even dead or close to. The thought alone was painful. Not to mention all the Abnegation being murdered in their streets and all the Dauntless being turned into murderers.

I push back my thoughts; they were nowhere near helping me figure out how to stop this monstrous thing the Erudite have started. But, my mind goes immediately to Eric and his messed up words. Thinking about it, everyone had been talking weird for a while. Since... how long? I try to think back, but my thoughts keep getting muddled. It's like I'm trying to walk through syrup. Then I remember, Jeanine, back in Abnegation with Tris. What was she saying? This is even harder to drag up through my memory, but was it about a new simulation? For the divergent? Was she going to use it on me? Did she?

I remember Eric mouthing my real name. What if that was part of a simulation? What if his actual words were covered up one of Jeanine's potions? But Eric's never even heard the name Tobias. So that couldn't be right. Unless the simulation had switched more than the words, what if it changed my perception of people? Only Tris knows my real name though. Tris. Oh no.

My thoughts clear as I break the simulation and I turn around to see a body on the ground, broken, limp, a puppet without strings to bring it to life. But, a short puppet, a puppet with light hair, not dark like Eric's.

"Tris." My lips barely form the one precious word, "Tris," this time it comes out as a sob. I fall to my knees beside her, stroking her still warm cheek. I feel numb, barely registering the tears running down my cheeks and falling onto her forehead. I lift her body- her _body - _off the ground and cradle it against my chest. 'It,' dear, brave Tris, already an 'it' in my mind, and _I _made her that way. I killed her. I _killed _Tris.

I bury my face in her hair, as I let out another sob. The regret, grief and pain, missing earlier when I believe her to be Eric, overwhelm me now. In the two weeks I had known her, she'd changed my life completely, given me a sense of peace that had been missing for so long. Given me a purpose; to protect her even though I knew she didn't need it. I'd done the exact opposite. I'm completely lost, a boat set adrift in a sea of nothingness.

Everything is gray, even here in dauntless, far away from my childhood nightmare. My light's gone, departed from this world. And I'm the cause, being in a simulation at the time is the worst kind of excuse, especially being divergent. I'm the cause of her death and my despair.

I rather spend the rest of my life being beaten by my father.

I pull her limp body towards mine, hugging it even tighter against me. "I love you," I whisper the words into her hair, words, thanks to me; she will never hear me say, and know them to be true.

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**A/N- please review/PM me to let me know what you think of it, criticism welcome, just no extremely negative comments. This is my first fanfic so sorry if it was terrible :) **


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